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I have some parenting questions. Can you guys help? Some of the best ideas and practical tips come from other moms. So, here are my questions:
*My oldest has started to ask about staying up later. He'll be six this summer. I have mixed feelings about this. It is summer time, the sun is out longer. The winters here are long and so part of me thinks it would be great to extend his bedtime for him during the summer. The problem is that when he goes to bed late, I feel like I have almost no down time. So, what have any of you done about bedtimes for your older kids? Right now, we put our kids down around 7:00 or 7:30.
* What do you do about play dates or birthday parties that your children are invited to, but you don't know the other parents at all. James will come home from school with invitations for birthday parties and I know the child but have no idea what their parents are like, or if I trust my son to be in their care for a few hours.
* Any tips for playground politics? When you see other kids being rude to your child, or you hear your child complain that "so and so doesn't like me." Usually, I try not to get involved, or I try not to make a big deal about things (you know how resilient kids can be). But I wonder if any of you have a certain way of handling this so that your child comes away from the situation feeling confident and happy regardless of what happened. I've found this to be especially common among girls, not so much boys.
* What about letting your child of the opposite gender use the restroom by himself? My oldest is just about old enough that he sometimes requests to go to the men's room by himself. This still scares me! I only let him go in the men's room alone if I'm certain that there is no one else in there (we open the door together and check the stalls - I know, I'm crazy). I stand right outside the door, and if he takes too long, I open the door and say "Hurry up, buddy!" Otherwise, I take him with me to the ladies room. Do any of you have a more efficient way of doing this?
I'll stop there for now. I know the people who read my blog are excellent moms and I trust your opinions, so thanks for your help, everyone!
6 comments:
I am thinking about letting Jack and Ben stay up a bit later this summer. We change times now in Bloomington, so it stays light out until about 9pm, at least. Maybe you could just do it for the summer and then go back to an earlier bed time once school starts. By the way, later for our kids would be 8pm. We put ours to bed around 7:30pm as well.
I sometimes let Jack go to the bathroom by himself. But I do have a few conditions: Is it a nice place, is it busy, is the girls restroom full? Usually, I will let him go in if I know that there are no other men in there. Of course, I am all for the family bathrooms that are becoming more common.
As for playground politics, I try to teach my kids to be nice and if someone doesn't want to play with them or is rude, I tell them to walk away. That it is not their fault. Sometimes people don't know how to be nice and sometimes people want to play alone. If a parent is not controlling their child, you can bet that if he/she is hurting my child, I will tell the child first that he/she should be nice to others. If that doesn't work, then I would go talk to the parents. Haven't had to do that yet, though.
Good luck!
Callie
Holy Cow! I would have to give mine some serious benadryl to get them to bed at 7 or 7:30.
I usually let my kids read for 10-15 minutes before “lights out”, and that way they feel like they’re getting to stay up later, and I’m not entertaining them. Maybe that would work for James, or maybe letting him have one night a week where he gets to stay up later.
For birthday parties, when I rsvp, I usually ask if it’s a drop-off party or if parents are welcome. Sometimes I’ve even offered to help out. I find that in most cases, the parents usually are invited. It’s a good idea to get to know other parents, too, because you can find out a lot about what’s going on through other children’s parents. As kids get to be teenagers, it’s incredibly important for them to know that parents share information…..
Playground politics are tricky. I’ve used several different children’s books about making friends and how to handle bullies and sharing toys. Then we play a game called “What Would You Do If” and I make up different scenarios that my kids can then sort of practice on. Oh, and by the way, I LOVE LOVE LOVE the American Girl series about feelings and friends, etc., and I’ve read them myself so I know how to handle questions from my kids.
As for intervening, the teacher in me takes over – I mean, c’mon. I discipline other people’s children all day long. I’ve been known to say things like “You should stop that because it’s not safe” to kids at the park, the mall, the grocery store even when my own kids are not involved. Can’t help it. It’s involuntary at this point.
Yikes. The men’s room. You are NOT crazy. It’s the perverts who make us like this who are CRAZY. I like your method. I stand outside the door, too, and make sure people know I’m there.
H
I don't think I have any advice for you! I'm trying to figure out the same issues, so let me know if you figure some out!
As far as staying up later, I agree with letting him read in bed. Lexi and Logan still go down at 7:30 but I let Lexi read in bed sometimes for awhile. I have a hard time letting my kids stay up too much because I need that time at night!
I always go to the party if I don't know the parent. Also, we skip A LOT of parties. Usually we only go if it is my child's close friend. I just don't have time and money for all of the parties now days!
We definitely role play situations that will happen to them with other children. I think it helps. If Lexi said kid didn't like her I would tell that the kid is missing out and had problems. Some kids are just mean and if you have a nice kid you have to make sure they know that some kids are mean and to stay away from them.
BATHROOMS scare me. Logan is too young to go by himself and Lexi just goes with me so I don't have that problem yet but I think what you're doing is great. You can even tell James why you are doing it. We had and FHE about perverts the other night. Knowledge is POWER!
I do like to talk about parenting issues and hear other parents ideas. We can all help eachother out. This was a good post!
These are all great ideas and techniques. Thanks everyone for answering my questions - you've helped me a lot!
Natalie- I have never gotten Cannon to bed before 8:30, usually 9:30! Tell me how to do earlier!
So far, I f I don't want Cannon to go to a party I don't tell him about it! Mean, eh? Umm, I don't know. Quiz the parents like crazy before and tell them you are crazy?? I tell mean kids to bug off at the playground. And, I am in the same opposite sex quandry!!!
Jen
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