I think it's time that I explain why I chose the above description for myself on my blog profile. We all have them. You know, the moments when we are a bit flaky. Often, I think I have more than my fair share of said moments. When I saw this caption on a T-shirt, I thought it was perfect for me. Here are some reasons why:
Watch out for anything that moves:
*On the day of my baptism, I was so excited. My mother had spent weeks making a beautiful Gunisax dress for me. While waiting for our family members to arrive I was anticipating the event and I wanted to do something to the pass the time. I went outside and saw my neighbor's big wheel. Never mind that I was eight. I hopped on it and rode it around. The dress got caught in the wheel and created an irreparable whole in the delicate fabric. Oops.
*Years later, I was on a bike ride on my street. I thought I had the coolest pink bike complete with a floral banana seat. As I was pedaling forward, I was looking down at the flowers on my comfy banana seat. BAM! I slammed right into a car parked onto the side of the street. I hobbled home, hoping nobody had seen what happened...
In the Kitchen
*I didn't cook much growing up (sorry, Drew). But that didn't stop my ambition. The first time I made chocolate chip cookies, I was determined to make them look really pretty. Perfectly round shapes, just like the Chips Ahoy cookies. So, after making the dough, I carefully rolled the dough into perfect little balls. I was overzealous in my rolling. It made the chocolate chips melt in my hands. The cookies looked really weird.
*This one happened more recently than I care to admit. I decided to make a simple quiche for dinner one weekend. The last time I made it, my family liked it, so I thought it would be a great idea for something quick and healthy. However, I forgot to put in the eggs. Who ever heard of making a quiche and forgetting the eggs? Isn't that what makes a quiche a quiche? Mental note to self: Do not cook and talk on the phone at the same time.
As A Domestic Goddess
* On my grocery list, I put "diluted water." Let's see... What do you dilute water with? More water? I realized I meant to put "Distilled water" for our iron.
As A Mathematician
* While at the drive through at the bank, the teller asked me how many "helpers" I had in the car so that she could give us some suckers. "Two," I replied. Two. Except there was a problem. I have three children. She chuckled as I pushed the button and said, "Actually, I have three. Three. Thanks very much."
Fuzzy Memory
* One of the highlights of my week is a parent education class I attend with Megan. Last week, we discussed overindulgence and the instructor showed a video tape of 20/20 (or some other such show) with teenagers who had extravagant life styles - coach purses and very expensive extras which they considered necessities. A week later, another mom referred to that interview. As she was talking about it, it sounded so familiar to me. "Oh yeah," I said excitedly, "I saw that interview, too!" The instructor looked at me slightly incredulously. "Uh, was that here that we saw that tape?" I said. Why, yes. Yes it was. Ahem, sorry about that.
Conversing With Intellectuals
* A new family moved into our area when we were in graduate school. I met them through church. Both the parents are extremely well read and educated. The mom is an English teacher and has earned a PhD from Stanford. They moved to the area in order for her husband to teach at Drew's business school. Well, one Sunday, I was conversing with the new sister. I was asking her who she had met at the business school. There is a particular professor of Drew's that I really liked. His name was Walt. But when I mentioned his name, she had a blank look on her face. I thought if I said his last name, it might jog her memory. But I couldn't remember his last name. Feeling on the spot a little bit, I blurted out, "You know, Walt Whitman. Have you met him?" She laughed heartily and replied, "The poet? No, I haven't met him." I laughed nervously, realizing my mistake. "No, neither have I," I said. Is there a faster way to exit from situations like that?
Thinking back on these situations seriously makes me laugh. Laughing at yourself is good to do every once in a while.
Watch out for anything that moves:
*On the day of my baptism, I was so excited. My mother had spent weeks making a beautiful Gunisax dress for me. While waiting for our family members to arrive I was anticipating the event and I wanted to do something to the pass the time. I went outside and saw my neighbor's big wheel. Never mind that I was eight. I hopped on it and rode it around. The dress got caught in the wheel and created an irreparable whole in the delicate fabric. Oops.
*Years later, I was on a bike ride on my street. I thought I had the coolest pink bike complete with a floral banana seat. As I was pedaling forward, I was looking down at the flowers on my comfy banana seat. BAM! I slammed right into a car parked onto the side of the street. I hobbled home, hoping nobody had seen what happened...
In the Kitchen
*I didn't cook much growing up (sorry, Drew). But that didn't stop my ambition. The first time I made chocolate chip cookies, I was determined to make them look really pretty. Perfectly round shapes, just like the Chips Ahoy cookies. So, after making the dough, I carefully rolled the dough into perfect little balls. I was overzealous in my rolling. It made the chocolate chips melt in my hands. The cookies looked really weird.
*This one happened more recently than I care to admit. I decided to make a simple quiche for dinner one weekend. The last time I made it, my family liked it, so I thought it would be a great idea for something quick and healthy. However, I forgot to put in the eggs. Who ever heard of making a quiche and forgetting the eggs? Isn't that what makes a quiche a quiche? Mental note to self: Do not cook and talk on the phone at the same time.
As A Domestic Goddess
* On my grocery list, I put "diluted water." Let's see... What do you dilute water with? More water? I realized I meant to put "Distilled water" for our iron.
As A Mathematician
* While at the drive through at the bank, the teller asked me how many "helpers" I had in the car so that she could give us some suckers. "Two," I replied. Two. Except there was a problem. I have three children. She chuckled as I pushed the button and said, "Actually, I have three. Three. Thanks very much."
Fuzzy Memory
* One of the highlights of my week is a parent education class I attend with Megan. Last week, we discussed overindulgence and the instructor showed a video tape of 20/20 (or some other such show) with teenagers who had extravagant life styles - coach purses and very expensive extras which they considered necessities. A week later, another mom referred to that interview. As she was talking about it, it sounded so familiar to me. "Oh yeah," I said excitedly, "I saw that interview, too!" The instructor looked at me slightly incredulously. "Uh, was that here that we saw that tape?" I said. Why, yes. Yes it was. Ahem, sorry about that.
Conversing With Intellectuals
* A new family moved into our area when we were in graduate school. I met them through church. Both the parents are extremely well read and educated. The mom is an English teacher and has earned a PhD from Stanford. They moved to the area in order for her husband to teach at Drew's business school. Well, one Sunday, I was conversing with the new sister. I was asking her who she had met at the business school. There is a particular professor of Drew's that I really liked. His name was Walt. But when I mentioned his name, she had a blank look on her face. I thought if I said his last name, it might jog her memory. But I couldn't remember his last name. Feeling on the spot a little bit, I blurted out, "You know, Walt Whitman. Have you met him?" She laughed heartily and replied, "The poet? No, I haven't met him." I laughed nervously, realizing my mistake. "No, neither have I," I said. Is there a faster way to exit from situations like that?
Thinking back on these situations seriously makes me laugh. Laughing at yourself is good to do every once in a while.
6 comments:
Ah, Natalie, those were good stories. I think my favorite was the one at the bank. What is this cloud that comes over the brain when you're a mother? But, I just have to say, that I've met very few people who are as gracious as you--and I'm always on the look out as it's a quality I most admire. Mix that with you're sense of humor, and I can't imagine a scrape or situation that you wouldn't manage through without ending up looking like you were at the top of your game.
All of those stories were so funny! I think I can relate to nearly every one. My favorite was the bank one, too. But I suspect you didn't really make a mistake. When I'm in the car, there's rarely a moment that I can describe all of my children as 'helpers'.
Natalie! I totally agree with you about laughing at yourself. All of those situations were so funny! I need to look back on mine with humor instead of mortification like I usually do. I totally believe being a mother alters your brain somehow.
Funny.
Your roots don't look blonde.... you must spend a fortune on a colorist!
I love your stories. Remember the one about the water buffalo? miles still talks about that one. I always forget Ella's bday. Sometimes I think my brain was only programmed to remember 2 dates of birth.
I'm the same with dates, Heather. But, you'll have to refresh my memory on the water buffalo...
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