Waxing Poetic

Sometimes I wish I could tell my kids to take a number.

"Sorry that your diaper is messy. But I need to get your brother on the bus. Please go to the end of the line and wait for your number to be called."

This thought, along with the popular works of Laura Numeroff, inspired me to write a poem.

Ahem. (Sitting up straight, clearing throat, and reading aloud:)

If You Give a Mom Some Laundry...

by

Natalie H.

If you give a mom some laundry,

She'll need a stain stick to go with it.

As she goes to the laundry room to find a stain stick,

She sees her child trying to climb the entertainment center to turn on the TV.

She helps him down and finds his favorite show to enjoy.

While turning on the movie, she notices tons of dust on the entertainment center.

She goes to find a dust rag to clean it.

On her way to find the dust rag, she steps on sharp Lego pieces, hurts her foot

and hops around, waiting for the sting to leave.

Once her foot feels better, she picks up the Legos,

wondering where all the kids are because they should clean up this mess.

After she finishes picking up the Legos, her son's show is now over.

And everyone wants a snack.

They all march to the kitchen to get it.

They have a nice snack of peanut butter crackers, apples and chocolate milk.

While putting the food away, lots of milk is spilled.

Mom must find a rag to clean it up.

But she has no clean rags because it's laundry day.

So, she finds some napkins instead.

Upon returning to the mess, she sees that the crackers have been thrown onto the floor.

And stomped on 100 times.

Mom asks everyone to help clean up.

Next, mom clears out the chairs to do a quick mop of the floor.

But when she tries to fetch the mop, the the baby wakes up.

She goes to get the baby and smells a nasty diaper which needs changing.

After changing the diaper, mom takes it to the outside garbage can.

On her way outside, the two oldest kids request help to find pencils for their homework.

Mom rummages around, finds the pencils and realizes that she must begin to fix dinner.

As she walks to the kitchen to begin dinner,

she hears the "someone-just-scratched-my-eyes-out scream."

She runs to referee.

As she runs, she sees permanent marker on the wall.

Once the fight is stopped, mom searches for supplies to remove the marker.

While looking for yet another cleaning rag, the phone rings.

It's dad.

Hearing the distress in mom's voice, he decides to bring home a pizza.

The kids love the pizza.

Most of them manage to drip tomato sauce on their clothes.

After dinner, mom adds the tomato-stained clothes to the pile of laundry and notices ...

She'll need a stain stick to go with it.