Parenting experts often say pick your battles. Which begs the question: Is the whole parenting thing a game of strategy, a battle, or even sometimes a war? And if it is, do you ever feel like your losing? Sometimes I feel that way, I tell you what. I adore my kids. I really do. But some days I seriously want to cry. And my experience has been that age three is harder that two. (help)
Here's the score in the game that Andrew & I play on a daily basis. Get comfy. Make some popcorn. Although the defeat is almost embarrassing, it is entertaining nonetheless.
*Andrew dumped out economy box of cheerios while mom was in the shower. Stomped on it. Made snow angels in it. 2 points Andrew.
*The next day, Andrew got the box of Kix. Same scenario while mom was in the shower. 2 points Andrew.
*Managed to take off his poopy diaper - even though it was taped - while mom was feeding Emily. Next he lay down and tried to wipe himself. You can imagine the scene. 5 points for team Andrew uncontained poop gets extra points.
*In the middle of dinner, he picked up his plate and hurled it across the room. 2 points Andrew
*Next, he dumped out his cup of water (all the sippy cups were dirty). 2 points Andrew
*Throws a dozen napkins on the floor during every meal. 2 points, Andrew.
*Attempts to bite his sister. Misses (thank goodness), but bites his own lip. Blood everywhere. 2 points Andrew
*Sets the alarm off in the car after I buckled him in and during my walk around the car to put the other kids in. How did he do that? 3 points Andrew (extra ingenuity is a three-pointer).
*Draws with marker on the table, chairs, and walls. 2 points Andrew
*Headbuts his older brother while we're in church. 2 points Andrew
*Chucks his cars three benches behind us during Sacrament meeting. 2 points Andrew
*Kicks mercilessly at the elbow of the kind man in front of us at church despite my attempts to get him to stop. He is strong. Sorry, Hector! 2 points Andrew
*Takes his coat, socks, and shoes off the instant we get him buckled in the car. The only things left are his pants and his diaper. 2 points Andrew
*Took a stool from the kitchen, climbed up to the spice cabinet and pulled all the spices out. Luckily, I caught him after he dumped all the Kosher salt onto the floor. Again, while I was in the shower. Should I just not shower for the next few years? 2 points Andrew.
*Dumped out mom's purse. Emptied contents of wallet. Hid credit cards and ID in various places around the house. 2 points Andrew.
*Figured out how to unlock the fridge. Emptied yogurt on the floor. 2 points Andrew.
*Popped off the child proof locks placed on the door knobs all around the house. 2 points Andrew.
The final score: Andrew:38 Mom: 0
25 comments:
And I just wanted to mention, we reallly do child proof our house. I promise. He's just into everything. All the time.
I hear you Natalie!!!! Do moms get points for cleaning it all up?
Oh Natalie! I'm so sorry! I say 40 points for Mom for being able to laugh about it!
Wow, your scenarios all sound painfully familiar. I keep trying to deny the fact that Hadley was 1k times harder at 3 than 2. I keep trying to delude myself into thinking Ella is almost out of it. Today I found myself saying "I can't wait until we are finished having TODDLERS!"
I happened upon your blog and am laughing out loud! I have 4 kids five and under, including 2 year old twins, so this post really hit home for me. Thanks for the laugh, I needed it!
Wow, he's a busy little dude. Sometimes I feel the same way about Kate. I am constantly getting her out of trouble time and time again.
I agree with owenfamily though. Being able to laugh about it is the best way to even the score.
Yikes! It is always the innocent faced, big eyed ones that you really have to watch! I agree, three is harder than two- at two they are still afraid of being in trouble. At three trouble is what they are after. Showers are over-rated. Can't you wait until he is four?
I feel your pain - and it I agree with whoever said it's the "innocent faced, big eyed ones" that really cause trouble. The thing that gets me is that Alex doesn't seem to respond to getting in trouble. Time out doesn't work - just gives him a new venue for destruction. Spanking doesn't work - I feel horrible, and then he thinks hitting is okay when someone doesn't do what he wants. Taking away toys doesn't work because, hello! have you seen how many toys he has? There's always something else to play with. Grounding him from the tv doesn't phase him.
So, I'm at a complete parenting loss.
Call me - we'll commiserate.
Ahhhhh, why are we having another one :) Jack really has been good, which makes me wonder what the next one will bring... Good luck, remember the time they are small goes by so fast - advice from every old person.
This is a test to see if I can leave a comment
I agree that three is definitely harder than two. It was so good to read about your struggles and know I'm not alone. Sometimes I think, "This should not be so hard. I should be able to be in charge and control what they do. Correct and effective discipline should be easy for me to figure out." But I can not figure it out! I feel so defeated some days. I'm glad I'm not alone!
How many points do you get for turning his antics into an awesome blog entry? Lucky that he is so very very adorable!!
Natalie, you poor girl. I'm speechless. I hope that you have a really capable babysitter so that you get a chance to get away from it all sometimes. You deserve a break (the kind that finds you relaxing at a nice restraunt w/ Drew). Hang in there!!!
I thought a puppy was difficult! Oh what I have to look forward to. I know it will be worth it. You must be really patience so all power to ya.
I so wish that I didn't understand this entry. It was Rice Krispies for us, and boy are they difficult to clean up.
Natalie, you are a serious pro-mom, and I think you are amazing! PS - where did you find a fridge-lock?
You are SO funny! I mean in the moment these things are NOT funny, but aren't they after the fact-just a little?
I agree that 3 is a harder age than 2. My kids were ANGELS at 2. Then 3 hit. Then 4. I can't tell which is worse.
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Natalie that is so crazy! You really lost by so many points! I agree, 3 is hard. I look at his cute face on your sidebar though and think... he looks so sweet! Who knew he could get into so much trouble. This was a cute and funny post though. I hope you can at least round up a couple of points next time!!!
Very entertaining post! Better than the superbowl in my opinion. Just remember, it's not if you win the game, it's HOW you play it! :)
Natalie,
I'm sure his michieviousness comes from the Smith side of the family. Except I sort of remember some naughty pranks of his dad, like spreading honey all over the kitchen floor and vaseline all over my dresser. But you, Natalie, win 1000's of points in my eyes. You are an amazing mom, a heroine.
Love,
Kathryn
I know why you have 18 comments on this blog... that was awesome. I heard JONAS in all of those stories... well, Emma too... they both did stuff like this ALL DAY LONG. One day I decided to write it all down and by noon I stopped writing because it made me more tired to think about what actually happened than to just get over it. Amazing... but I must say that hiding mommies credit cards and such all over the house really deserves more than 2 points... that is about a 50 point bonus. Sorry for you. I am starting to leave that stage (starting is the key word)... Jonas is 4 now and getting better... although he did throw Superman during sacrament meeting and hit one unlucky patron in the head about 5 rows up! OH dear.
Great job Mommy... hang in there... yes, 3 is WORSE than 2.
You deserve that brownie pan!
WOW! I was hoping that 3 would be easier then 2... but I'm agreeing with you so far! 3 is a tricky age because they are ingenious! Love your scoring system! Such a funny post Natalie! Seriously, you need to write a book about all of your funny day to day happenings. They crack me up.
I never had kids that got into everything, but I am currently dealing with a "sweet angel of a daughter" that can't seem to stop arguing with me, complaining, whining, picking on her brother, slamming doors, stomping up the stairs, or crying and saying her life is horrible and nobody loves her. Girls are hard. And she's 11 now! I don't know how you do it, though. I guess that's why God made our kids so cute - so they could survive their childhood!
I never saw the points for your clean up workout!! Good Luck!
I love your blog, Natalie. So many memories of toddlers - I'm so glad to be done with that. EXHAUSTING WORK! (Does Mitch know what he's getting into babysitting for you?)
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